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(can't get rid of the above garbage. Sorry.)
What I fear most, is death and non existence. Burning in hell, feeling the pain, would be
way better than nothing. The knowledge
that I didn't exist during the billions of years of human history, that I missed
all that, or at best can't remember any of it, frustrates me to no end.
The fact that we are still so limited, and completely unable
to communicate in any significant or spiritual effing way (compared to the trillions
of times all things we will be able to do in 100 years) completely frustrates
me, and is almost as bad / evil / hellish as non existence. All isolation, both spiritual and physical is
hell. Lack of memory is hell.
But, I do know that one simple phenomenal moment of
consciousness like say looking at a phenomenally red cheery, even though such
is still spiritually unsharable with anyone else, is what makes it all worth
it. All the millions of generations of
frustrating living and fighting for progress by our ancestors and their DNA is
by far worth that even one moment of phenomenal life while experience one moment of
red of which our ancestors living and frustrating effort made possible for us out of
nothing/pure hell.
Yes, I definitely do have down days like that. I just try with all I can muster, to continue
the work our ancestors have been doing for millennia, knowing that they gave us all so much more than any of them had, with hope that things
will just keep getting better and better for each generation. Sure, we can't know just how much better
things might become, if evil, isolation and stuff really are necessary when
there are Gods, if there is a hell or not.
One thing is for sure, achieving phenomenal immortality from where we
are now, is nothing compared to what our ancestors had to accomplish to create
us.
I just eternally hope that all such evil can be overcome,
that all can be saved from all hells and isolations. And I will never give up hope, and
trying as hard as I can, no matter how little of us left there ultimately is.
Do you think what you are describing will pass? What helps you the most?
Brent Allsop